Coffee or Tea?
by Cardinal67
Summary: An age-old question, One that has pitted Brother against Brother, Father against Son, Lover against Lover... Now it shall finally be answered. Which is better, Coffee or Tea? (Implied Coco/Fox & Velvet/Yatsuhashi)


Coffee or Tea?

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><p><strong>AN: Inspired by true events... Or at least the general idea was.**

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><p>"What?" Coco asked, stopping dead in her tracks at the sacrilegious words.<p>

"I said I prefer tea over coffee." The villainous bunny-girl repeated, an innocent expression across her face, seemingly unaware of the vulgar expletive she'd just uttered.

"I-I..." Coco stammered, completely cut off guard by this remnant-shattering news, "Why?" She asked, desperate for some reason her friend would believe this heinous lie.

Velvet shrugged, beginning to walk forward once more, "It just tastes better." She said, nearly tripping as Coco grabbed her shoulder.

"No." Coco said, "No, no, no, no, no." The more elaborately dressed brunette repeated, "Come with me."

Velvet raised her eyebrows in confusion but soon followed her leader with curiosity, noticing a determination in her step, "Okay..." She said, moving to follower her friend, "Where are we going?"

"You'll see." Coco responded curtly, taking out her scroll and sending a short message to Fox an Yatsuhashi.

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><p>"Classes start soon..." Velvet began after several minutes of silent walking, "Professor Oobleck will..."<p>

"He'll understand." Coco said dismissively, certain that the eccentric, green-haired teacher of all people would understand her reasons for having missed class.

"But..." Velvet insisted once more, now slightly scared of her leader's behavior.

"We're here." Coco said, effectively silencing her teammate as she opened the door to the sparring arena with Fox and Yatsuhashi sat inside, making idle small talk.

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><p>"-tually it felt kinda nice." Fox said to Yatsuhashi, giving context to neither the readers nor the girls about what he was talking about.<p>

"Really? I'd always thought it would hurt." Yatsuhashi responded, still refusing context to anyone except the author.

"Hey!" Coco called to them, waving the two boys to her, "Come here, I have a question to ask you both!"

"What?" Velvet asked as the two boys stood up and started walking towards them, "We came here just to ask them what drink they liked?"

"Yes." Coco replied as if it were the most reasonable thing in the world, "We're going to settle this now."

Before Velvet could ask how they would 'settle' the matter, Coco turned to the two boys, "Alright Fox, Yatsuhashi, you two are gonna settle something for us." She said in a tone that commanded authority.

The two boys nodded, hearing the seriousness of her voice.

"Tea or Coffee?" Coco said evenly, "Which is better?"

"Coffee." The copper-haired boy said.

"Tea." The samurai of CFVY said.

The two boys glanced at each other briefly before turning back to the girls.

A brief silence followed the two boy's announcements as Coco rubbed the bridge of her nose, clearly dissatisfied by the tie.

"Okay…" Coco said, her voice low and clearly annoyed, "It's alright. I planned for this…"

The beret-wearer turned up to face the two boys, a slightly crazed look hidden behind her large glasses, "You two are gonna settle it for us." She said, jabbing Fox then Yatsuhashi in the chests.

"..."

"..."

"..."

"Uh… how?" Fox asked, not particularly fond of having to 'settle' things with Yatsuhashi.

"Simple," Coco continued, walking towards the center of the arena, "I brought us here for a reason." A wicked smile danced across her face.

"And why don't YOU settle things with Velvet?" Fox asked.

Coco's smile dropped for a moment, "Well you see Fox, there's a particular reason for that." She said, walking towards him, "And do you know what that is?"

Velvet watched as Coco leaned beside Fox and whispered something into the boy's ear, not hearing the specifics but noticing Fox's eyes bulge and face brighten.

"...That's playing dirty." Fox said quietly but with a carnal tone to his voice, a light smirk beginning to form.

"Maybe," Coco said with a shrug, leaning back from Fox with a victorious smirk, "But either way I know you want to prove that we're right."

After several seconds of contemplation, Fox sighed and turned to his friend, "Yatsuhashi, I'm sorry," The blade-user said lightly but with some eagerness to his tone, "But there is no way in hell I'm going down easily." He said, moving towards the center and grabbing his blades from their resting spot at the arena's edge.

Yatsuhashi regarded Fox silently, privately wondering what Coco could have done to motivate Fox, until Velvet tugged on his shoulder, "Please just end this." She asked quietly, wishing dearly to just go to class.

The green-clad samurai looked at Velvet for a moment but nodded and moved towards the center himself, extracting his greatsword from behind his back as he moved.

Coco watched as the two teammates moved towards the arena smiling, "Come on Velvet," She said, walking towards the stands, "Let's get some good seats for this."

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><p><em>5 Minutes Later<em>

"They are… Not holding back." Velvet said nervously, no small amount of concern in her voice as she watched Yatsuhashi narrowly avoid Fox's blades, his Aura levels in the yellow.

"No, they aren't." Coco said evenly, watching the fight with anticipation, watching each of Fox's movements and eagerly hoping he could avoid Yatsuhashi's powerful strikes.

"Mmmm…" Velvet murmured nervously as Fox landed a strike against Yatsuhashi, sending his Aura further into the yellow.

Coco chuckled at Velvet's behavior, "Don't worry Velvet," She said, patting the girl lightly on her back, "Your boyfriend will give up in a bit and we can all go on with our lives knowing Coffee is the superior drink." Coco grinned at the last part of the comment, "Nobody will even know we were here."

Velvet tensed at that comment, "No…" She said, her hand balling into a fist, "Tea is, and always will be better!" She argued, jabbing her finger into her leader's personal space, "And Yatsuhashi will prove it!"

"_We're in trouble anyway," _Velvet silently remarked,_ "We might as well prove we're right."_

Coco adjusted her glasses to get an unobstructed view at the now passionate tea-lover, "Hmm," She murmured before a devilish smile began to dance across her lips, "If you're so confident why don't we make this more interesting?"

Velvet eyed the fashion-focused brunette with skepticism, "More interesting how?" She asked, crossing her arms and watching the match out of the corner of her eye.

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><p>Fox and Yatsuhashi both remained blissfully ignorant of the two scheming girls in the stands, each too focused in their own battle to notice the fresh hell that had just begun for whichever side lost.<p>

"_Think…." _Fox contemplated silently, looking for any opening he could use to help finish the fight, _ "His shoulders are too protected and he knows that I'd go for his back…"_

"_He's too fast to hit if I charge him," _Yatsuhashi similarly considered, taking note of how low each of their Aura's were, _"His chest is my best spot but I can't charge him…"_

"_If I got close I might be able to get out of his sword's reach but..."_

"_If I can hit him as he charges, his blades won't be able to block my sword…" _Yatsuhashi realized, _"But if I miss, I'm defenseless..."_

The two fighters stared each other down, each reaching the same conclusion: The only way to end this fight without a stalemate was for Fox to charge… But each side had a counter…

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><p>"Fuck it." Fox decided, hoping his speed would compensate and he could avoid the massive blade.<p>

"So be it." Yatsuhashi responded, immediately seeing Fox move towards him and readying his strike.

The copper-haired boy moved quickly, closing the gap in the blink of an eye.

But the green samurai was just as fast, raising his blade to meet the boy just as quickly.

Fox's fist and Yatsuhashi's blade stood suspended in air, less than an inch from their respective targets, whoever's blow struck first would win along with their fair lady.

Time seemed to slow as each weapon neared their target's body. Yatsuhashi's blade moving ever so closer to Fox's chest and Fox's fist to Yatsuhashi's jaw.

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><p>Fox saw Yatsuhashi's blade just pass over his arm, narrowly avoiding him and making a small tear along the back of his vest. In the split second before his fist connected, Fox smirked, <em>"Nice try Yatsu." <em>He silently commended, blessing his own speed for having narrowly allowed him to avoid the blade, _"But looks like I win."_

In that fraction of a second when he didn't feel his bade connect, Yatsuhashi knew he was beaten, _"Well fought." _He thought silently, knowing his friend had bested him.

Fox's fist connected at the base of Yatsuhashi's jaw, knocking the Samurai back and finally sending his Aura into the red, bringing the match to a close.

Fox stood triumphantly over his friend, glancing over to where he'd fallen, "Coffee wins." He said, turning back to the stands where he assumed the two girls would be watching, "Time to claim my pri-"

Fox however, rather than being greeted with a cheering Coco and dejected Velvet as he'd expected, Fox come face to face with a particularly stern-faced Glynda Goodwitch and ever jubilant Professor Oobleck.

"Young man," Goodwitch said angrily, "I hope you two have a VERY good reason for the damage you two have caused here today!" Out of the corner of his eye, Fox saw Velvet and Coco escaping the room unnoticed.

"Indeed." Oobleck said in a voice that was softer but just as firm, "Skipping class is a serious business. Just what did you hope to accomplish by pummeling your teammate here?" He motioned to the slowly rising form of Yatsuhashi.

After several moments of thinking (And finding no lies that he thought the professors would believe) Fox sighed, "We had a… Disagreement… About whether Coffee or Tea was better…"

Both teachers were silent for a moment as they contemplated and realized that Fox was in fact serious, "Why that's ridiculous my dear boy," The energetic history professor bellowed loudly, taking a sip from his thermos, "You didn't need to battle to settle that!"

"Indeed." Goodwitch said, her voice still stern, "Your battle was entirely pointless and a horrible misuse of the Academy's time and resources!" Fox bowed his head in shame at the accomplished huntress' words, "Besides," She said dismissively "Tea is obviously the superior drink."

A pin-drop silence filled the arena as Fox watched Oobleck's previously exuberant smile fall slightly as he turned to face Goodwitch, "I'm sorry, Glynda?" He said, "But coffee is far greater than tea could ever hope to be."

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><p>Fox saw from the two professor's stances what was going on and began to move back several steps, "Umm, Professors?" He asked, continuing his slow retreat as he spoke, "May we go?"<p>

Neither professor turned to him, each giving a nod of affirmation at his request to leave as they faced one another, "I must disagree. Doctor…" Goodwitch said, her grip around her riding crop tightening, "Tea offers a far wider variety of options to it…"

Fox moved to Yatsuhashi quickly, helping the dazed samurai to his feet as fast as humanly possible, "We need to go!" Fox whisper shouted, panic setting in as he helped his friend to his feet, "We need to go now!"

Oobleck adjusted his glasses and took a sip from his thermos, "I'm afraid you are the one who is mistaken, Glynda." The aforementioned thermos began to extend at it's base to resemble a large bat, "For Coffee, while offering fewer options, helps to energize those who drink it as well as offer a consistently refreshing taste…"

The two student's began to run towards the exit as the two educators continued their stare-down. "Well," Glynda said, her grip around her crop terrifyingly strong, "Perhaps we should settle this now?"

Fox and Yatsuhashi just made it out the door as Oobleck smiled, "I absolutely agree," The more eccentric of the two teachers said, "Shall we begin?"

Goodwitch smiled, raising her weapon towards the green-haired professor, "Of course."

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><p><strong>AN: For those of you wondering why Fox aimed for Yatsuhashi's head whereas Yatsuhashi aimed for Fox's chest, it's because Fox's fighting style reminds me of boxing more than martial arts and boxer's generally go for the face.**

**Yatsuhashi's weapon however would, assuming he weren't trying to kill Fox, be better placed in his chest if he hoped to knock him down but not kill him as a giant sword to the face from such a physically strong person against a weakened opponent would, I assume, seriously injure or even kill them.**

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><p>Fox and Yatsuhashi finally returned to their dorm after their duel, having made a brief stop in the infirmary to make sure nothing was seriously damaged and learning that part of the southern wing had been quarantined due to the ongoing battle between Oobleck and Goodwitch.<p>

As soon as they opened the door, the two were treated to a truly wondrous site of Velvet stood facing Coco, a large blanket draping over most of her body.

"A bet's a bet." Coco said mercilessly, sitting opposite Velvet on her bed, a smug grin on her face.

"Why do you even have this?" Velvet asked the floor, her head drooping.

"I had a few plans for me and Fox for Halloween." Coco said nonchalantly, just noticing the two boys having entered, "Speaking of which…" She said maliciously, her grin slowly widening.

Velvet turned to the two silent boys, an involuntary blush appearing on her face as she pulled the blanket tighter around her.

"Uhh…" Fox began, "What's-"

Coco interrupted him, moving forward and dragging Yatsuhashi towards the bathroom, "All will be made clear soon my champion," She said, handing Yatsuhashi a brown bag, "Just wait until Yatsuhashi's done changing and you'll see."

Yatsuhashi glanced back towards Coco in confusion but ultimately succumbed to her orders, leaving Fox in the room with and oddly excited Coco and bizarrely dressed Velvet.

After a minute of what could be fairly judged as the most awkward silence in the three teammates' lives, Yatsuhashi stepped out of the bathroom, adorned in a different robe from his usual pale-green attire.

"I'm afraid I don't understand." Yatsuhashi said simply, tugging at the burgundy-colored outfit, the long sleeves obstructing his movement very mildly.

Fox on the other hand recognized the iconic suit and gapped at Coco, "No way…" He said chuckling, "There's no way…"

Coco simply smiled at her teammate, "Oh don't worry Yatsuhashi," She said, walking behind Velvet as Fox quickly prepared his scroll, not wanting to miss Yatsuhashi's reaction, "I wouldn't expect YOU to."

Coco finished her walk and stood behind Velvet, the timid bunny-girl very much regretting increasing the stakes earlier, "But I feel like this speaks for itself." She said, pulling away Velvet's blanket covering and revealing what may well be the single most realistic playboy bunny in history.

The appearance of Velvet was captivating, the skimpy outfit accenting her curves beautifully, but even more beautiful was the reaction of Yatsuhashi towards his partner, the normally stoic warrior's eyes having bulged and mouth having ever so slightly open.

Velvet's blush burned brightly, painting her face a brilliant rose color as she tried in vain to cover herself as best she could. Coco smiled deviously from behind her, "And that my dear Velvet," She said, walking towards Fox, him giving her a brilliant smirk to mirror her own, "Is why you never challenge the superiority of Coffee."

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><p><strong>AN: The 'Fox-Blind' Thing I'm using liberally. I personally believe it and tend to write it as so; but seeing as it isn't technically confirmed yet, I'm writing him with vision if I think it makes the story better. **

**That being said, I hope you all enjoyed and wish you all a wonderful day.**


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